Traveling with Toddlers

So, we survived our trip to the Dominican with two toddlers. I can't really say that we're in any way rested but the kids had a good time so in a family trip I guess that's what it's really about.

Before we left I asked many people for advice on traveling with toddlers and got all sorts of responses. I thought I'd compile a list of things that worked for us, and maybe a few things that didn't!

1. Talk about the trip with your little ones a head of time. I talked to them about how we were going on an adventure on a plane and we were going to the beach. I just happened to tape an episode of Caillou where he goes on a plane so that helped for them to watch it a few times before we left.

2. Packing luggage- because we were going somewhere where diapers weren't readily available I packed diapers in DS's carry-on, and enough in his luggage to survive 2 extra days. It took up a lot of space but the good news was the space was used up on the way back with souvenirs! 
   - Packing carry-on, we went to a cheap store and bought each kid their own carry-on luggage with themes they would like (DS got Thomas the Train and DD got Tinkerbell). Inside the carry-on I put the things I knew they would want most such as their favourite blankies, a few stuffed animals, a pillow (small travel sized ones they had been using prior to the trip), and then an extra set of clothes each.
   - Toys/Entertainment - There were all sorts of suggestions I got but the one that was the most valuable was to take a portable DVD players. We didn't own one so bought one and it was a LIFESAVER. We had 4 flights and there were times we were in the airport for hours. It was easy to pull it out and let the kids watch a favourite show or movie if they were getting restless. Even on the plane where there's tv, the tv didn't work for almost an entire flight so we were thankful to have the DVD player to entertain them for a while.  We also bought them each a Nintendo DS. We called them early Christmas presents and again, they were lifesavers. The kids loved playing with them so we would take them to the restaurant with us at night. The kid's meals always came right away where we had to wait for ours, so the kids would be done eating and would play with their games while we were able to eat our meals in relative peace ;)
  I also packed several sets of stickers, for each new flight I would pull out new stickers so they had something new. I also did this with a few cheap books and it worked well. Some other things that worked well were crayons/colouring books, and those magic pen games you can buy as they're not messy and kids seem to be fascinated with them.

3.  Try to keep them on their old schedule - loosely.  We recognized that with the time change and all the excitement it was going to be difficult to keep them on schedule but we found that as long as we loosely tried to keep their normal schedule of when they slept and ate they were able to adapt to the new beds and situation fairly easily.  We did try to avoid our son's nap time but after a few days realized he still needed it and on the days he got it he was much happier in the afternoons.

Some things that didn't work:

1. Having any expectation that it would be relaxing for me! For hubby it was something completely outside his normal day so he found it to be relaxing at times. But for me it was doing exactly what I do at home but just relocated to somewhere warmer with a beach! I got 1 afternoon to hit the spa for a massage and pedicure and that was it. The rest of the trip was doing what I do at home but with less structure so next time I know that unless I actually book time away from the kids it won't be a very relaxing trip.

2. Three course meals. We tried this a few nights but the kids always got their meal on the 1st course so would be done while we were eating appetizers. The DS Nintendo games would keep them busy until about 1/2 way through our meals but would never last until dessert. I learned that you need to keep it to two courses or if you're desperate for dessert - get it to go!

3. No matter how many times I tried to explain to DH about the dangers of little kids and water I just don't think he got it. He would put them in the kiddy pool and sit on a lounge chair and do a crossword puzzle; , on the other hand, would sit in the pool with them. The water only came up to DS's waist but even then there was 2 times he lost his footing and fell backwards. Both times I noticed it instantly because I was watching him diligently. I was able to reach him within seconds, even so his head went under water for a second and he got scared - understandable for a 2 year old.  My point being that when it comes to toddlers and water you can't take your eyes off them for a second, and you can't be lounging on a pool chair while the kids are in the pool. So, talk to your significant other and make sure you both have the same understanding about what 'watching the kids' means.

All in all I'm hoping that next time we go the kids will be that much older that it will make things a little easier. Or maybe we can just convince the grandparents to come along to help share the load ;)

Want to Help and Don't Know How?

Have you ever wished you were more involved in your community and doing something to make a difference? But then you sit back and think you're not sure where to start, where to find opportunities, or you just don't have the time to search for what you're looking for. If so then  I hope I can help :)

When living in Calgary I started up a volunteer group. Once a month I would research and arrange a volunteer outing and anyone that could attend would do so. Generally I tried to find opportunities that fell on a weeknight or weekend as that's when most people could attend, but occasionally I'd find something on a weekday for the people that found that to be better for their schedule.

The outings we did were things like the following: packed goodfood boxes for the United Way (a program that allows lower-income people to purchase produce at a reduced cost), we hosted a birthday party night for seniors in a seniors residence complex, we wrapped Christmas presents at the Mustard Seed, served meals in school to children from lower-income families, and we put together information kits for the Canadian Cancer Society and the Heart and Stroke Foundation.

As of January I'm hoping to put together a group like this in Edmonton and wanted to know if anyone is interested in joining. Nothing much is required of you to join, I just need your e-mail address if you're interested. Each month I'll simply e-mail you the volunteer opportunity I've arranged and you let me know if you can make it. Volunteer outings will vary but feel free to put forth any suggestions or ideas on where you would like to volunteer and I'd do my best to accommodate it.

Please let me know if you are interested, either leave a comment on here or DM me on twitter (my handle is joeyjojrshabado) and I'll add you to the list for when I have our first opportunity set up.

It's Cold! Help the Homeless & Working Poor!

As you recently experienced it can get MIGHTY cold in this province. While we experience it when going from our car to our house there are those that experience it all throughout the day and worse, the night. Even the working poor can’t afford proper mitts/toques/coats/socks while they wait for a bus or work in the cold.

The Mustard Seed Edmonton has put together a Christmas Wish-list of items they are hoping to collect to help get the homeless and working poor though the winter and I was hoping you could help me collect some of these items.

I’ve attached the wish List for your perusal but some of the top items they need are the following:

WOOL/THERMAL SOCKS

Long underwear

Gloves

Scarves

Winter Coats

Bus Passes

Wool Blankets

Pocket Hand Warmers

Travel Mugs

$5 Coffee gift cards

Hot Chocolate

Lip Balm

Some of the other items on the Wish List are also geared towards small children and teens if you are more interested in helping out the children.

I know Christmas is an expensive time of year for people, as well as a very busy one, but if you are able to donate ANY item off the list please let me know. I am HAPPY to pick up anything you wish to donate and then I'll drop it all off at The Mustard Seed. 

All items have to be delivered to The Mustard Seed by a certain date so I’m hoping to have all items dropped off to my house OR for me to pick it up at your house by Friday, December 10^th.  

Hopefully together we can make this winter pass just a little bit easier for our fellow Edmontonians that need some help.

Thanks folks!

http://www.mustard.ab.ca/counselor/assets/Wish%20List%202010_NEW-FINAL.pdf

Sucky Service

Ok. Is it me or has service gone waaaaay downhill as of late? 

Last Friday I went to shop at the Banana Republic Factory Outlet Store. While the clothing was beautiful and the store was clean, the service was simply non-existent. Seriously, there was no one there! Not one employee was noticed on the floor helping me or anyone else, there was no one in the change room for the first 3-5 minutes I waited for someone to let me in a room, and there was no one at the cashier when I went to pay so I had to stand and wait for someone to notice me waiting. I would have approached someone if I saw a single person that worked there!!

Then on the weekend we went to try the newly revamped D'lish Wine Bar and though the food was really good, the service was not. Our waiter had no personality, didn't sell us on trying anything on the menu and himself seemed not only unsure of himself but what he was actually doing on this planet. At one point he actually said 'we haven't had too many complaints about that'; so does that mean it's about 50/50 on the complaints? What's 'too many'?  We all agreed at our table we wished we had someone else to serve us as our guy was a dud.

Then today I took DS to Walmart to pick out some items for our upcoming vacation. We picked out a few DVDs, stickers, some paints as well. They only had 3 tills open (not nearly enough for a Walmart...why have 20 odd tills if you are only going to use 3?) and when I was at the till the manager was instructing the cashier to double check the cost of the DVDs as they were pulling at the incorrect prices. She checked all of them and as I was paying she DIDN'T put the bag in the cart (as she had done with all the previous bags) and so I left thinking I had everything when in fact I didn't. I got home and noticed right away the bag was missing so called promptly. I let the phone ring for 2 minutes and 45 seconds and no one answered. Customer Service fail #2 (incorrect prices and failure to put the bag in my cart #1). I waited about 15 minutes and tried again. I finally got someone and when I explained to her what happened she said 'oh yes, we found the bag. You need to come in and reshop all the items and then we'll run them through the till again and give them to you'. I was completely perplexed as it had only been 1 hour since I left the store, why couldn't I just come in and pick up that 1 bag? She said as soon as they find a bag they put all the items back on the shelves.

So, let me get this situation right. They didn't have enough staff to work tills but enough staff to put PAID items back on the shelves??? Were they hoping I didn't call? I wondered how they would know what I actually took home and what was in the bag if they put it all back and she said they documented it in a binder. So, again...you have the time to document it, put the items back, but are not able to just leave the bag intact for someone to come claim it 1 hour after it was purchased?? Is it me or does anyone else how ridiculous this system is??

Anyway, this just adds to a long line of poor service I've experienced of late. I certainly don't feel that the 'customer is always right' anymore. Nor do I even feel that my business is valued and appreciated. What has happened to customer service?? Do people read the customer surveys I fill out?  Please Lord just say that it's not just me that this stuff happens to!

Me Time - Selfish or Necessary?

I was at a meeting the other day and we were discussing moms getting out and doing things for themselves. It made me think about how whenever I bring up 'me time' to other moms there seems to be two camps of moms: Camp 1. Me time? YES PLEASE   and Camp 2. Me time? No, I'd prefer to be with my family.

As a FIRM member of Camp 1 I have a difficult time understanding those moms that like to be in Camp 2. Since becoming a mom I've had a hard time establishing who 'Jody' is and making sure that other's also view me as more than just a mom, being a stay at home mom makes this even  more difficult. Why is it that some moms feel it necessary to distinguish themselves as more than just a mom and some believe the title 'mom' is simply enough?

Is being a mom rewarding in itself? Yes, at times it really is. When I see my kids do or say something I know I helped teach them - it can be a proud moment. Or those times they catch you off guard and say something very sweet, it's a moment to treasure. But there's the rest of the day where you are a chauffeur, a cook, a house cleaner, a human kleenex (if one more kid uses my shirt to wipe their nose I think I'll scream), a craft queen, a teacher, a disciplinarian, etc, etc. All the things you are that you pretty much never get credit for and that goes unappreciated. For me, those are the things that can be very mundane and draining, I will fully admit that I get bored after 2 minutes of playing with playdough!

So, as a member of Camp 1 I find it essential to my well being to get in my 'Me Time'. I volunteer, I read, I get together with girlfriends, join clubs, and work out. It's not about trying to remember who I was before kids, it's about defining myself WITH kids.

Now the question is, is that selfish? I'm sure some moms would jump right up and say that yes it is selfish to worry about myself when I should be taking that time to work with my kids on potty training, or spelling, or how to use scissors. I could be making homemade birthday cakes, making Halloween costumes from scratch and making sure I document all the things that my children so I never forget and can show them in the future. This is where I will fully admit to ANY man, woman or child - I am NOT a perfect mom, nor will I ever strive to be one. I am however a good mom that makes mistakes. I choose to buy that birthday cake because it saves me hours of labour in which I usually spend some of that time with the kids and some of it on myself.  I choose not to hand make a Halloween costume because again, it would take me DAYS to even figure out how to sew. Days I could spend with my kids at the park and nights I could spend doing volunteer work, or reading a book - things I enjoy.

The reason I do these things for myself is I feel it makes ME a better person. It allows me time to breathe, to express myself through my own interests and recharge my batteries that get drained throughout the day when I do all my mom jobs. If some call me selfish for that, I understand but I will not apologize nor will I change. It's simply what I need to do to get through the day and be the decent mom I am. Without those things, I'm pretty sure I'd have to go back to work full-time and let someone else watch my kids as I would be useless to them!




Me & my mom at a breast cancer fundraiser.



Me time or not? I wonder if this is something we are taught from our own moms? What I learned from my mom was to see her as more than just 'mom'. She worked part-time from the time I was 3 and started full-time when I was 6. She had women's groups she belonged to. She played softball. She also went on dates with my dad on a weekly basis. It made me see her as mom and also as Lorraine. So it seems I take after her.

Selfish or necessary? I guess it's up to each mom to decide for herself.



I would be most interested to hear from someone in Camp 2. If you fall into that category or know someone who does please comment and let me know what recharges your batteries, what drives you, and how you feel appreciated for your efforts.

Disclaimer: I personally hate the phrase 'just a mom'. As a mom I know that no one BUT a mom knows what it all entails so I feel able to use that phrase. But just a piece of advice, unless you are a mom I'd avoid using that phrase or you might get the snotty shirt mentioned above thrown at your head.

The Bookies

After moving back to Edmonton last year one of the first things I did was put out some feelers to see who would be interested in joining a book club. I was in a book club in Calgary for around 4-5 years and loved every minute of it. Well, maybe not EVERY minute of it as one of the original members wanted to read the autobiography of Traci Lords and I wasn't super pumped about that. Luckily she bailed after the first month so I never ended up having to stand in line at Chapters with that in my hands!

Anyway, I was very lucky to find 5 other women who were interested in being in a book club so we formed 'The Bookies' (sounds kind of cool sometimes to say 'I'm going to see my Bookies'). Anyway, we've been meeting for the past year and have uncovered some gems (i.e. Water For Elephants) and also some duds (Ulysses - I suffered through that book and will never, ever touch it again. BUT I finished it so gave myself a certificate to commemorate that achievement).

In our book club we meet in October or November and pick all the books we're going to read for the following year. Being the practical person I am I like to read ahead so that if I get really busy one month I don't have to scramble to meet the deadline. We also skip meeting in December and July as those months tend to be really busy or people are travelling.  Because people have extra time to read that means we slot the larger books for January and August. We also try to slip at least 1 classic book in but last year we read 4 (not that I would count Ulysses as a classic but some schmo did so I included that in the count) so this year we only went with 2 older more classic books, The Princess Bride and The Third Policeman.

Anyway, the Bookies got together last night and hashed out a new list for 2011. Here's the official
Bookies 2011 Book Club Selections, in order we're going to read them:

The Princess Bride – William Goldman  (then we're going to get together to watch the movie afterwards!)
The Room – Emma Donaghue
Half Broke Horses – Jeannette Walls
The Zookeepers Wife – Diane Ackerman
The Shack – William P. Young
The Third Policeman – Flann O’Brien
Blood Meridian – Cormac Mccarthy
Ape House – Sara Gruen
The Art of Racing in the Rain – Garth Stein
Still Alice – Lisa Genova

If any of you have read any of the above books and would like to make a comment if you like it or hated it feel free to add your thoughts, we like to know what we're getting into ;) Also feel free to read along with us and post your comments on a monthly basis when you see me add my book review.

The Essentials

For the past 6 months I've been volunteering for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run For The Cure. In that time I've heard a lot of positive, uplifting stories and I've also  heard a few sad ones. It really made me start to think about my kids and what things I'd like to instill in them, what things I'd really want to carry over if something should ever happen to me. I know some of you might think that's a bit negative or morbid but it's just a reality that it does happen to some people and we just all hope and pray it's not us.

Anyway, here's some of the things that came to the top of my mind as the 'essentials' I hope my kids learn from me:

1. Kindness, empathy, and understanding. To me these things are more important than being the smartest kid in the class. I hope they will be able to look at all situations in life, all types of people, all types of religion and politics and view them with respect and compassion.

2. Manners - to me it's basic human decency to say 'thank you', to give a wave, to hold a door open, to give a smile to someone who does the same for you. My goodness what a different world this would be if everyone could do such basic things. I'm really hoping my kids will understand the value of being polite!

3.  Giving - this goes along with #1. I hope that my children see that by having empathy and understanding of others, you also really see the needs in our community. I want them to not just see the need but to feel a drive to help alleviate that need. It doesn't matter to me what projects they choose as important to them, but that they find organizations that speak to them and they feel driven to help them. 

4. Family and Friends. Nothing is as important as a strong family connection, they are the ones there with you for life. I hear of so many fighting families and I think it's heartbreaking, especially when some of the issues are relatively small in comparison to the years of work put into the relationship. Friends are along the same basis, some friendships grow more or less important over time but you never know when they could turn the other way and you might be in need of that friendship, or they might be in need of yours.

5. Love of everything non-academic! I know, it's probably the opposite thing that you'll hear from most parents. I figure they'll get enough pressure from David to perform in school but what I want to instill in my children is balance. Yes, doing well in school is important but so is reading novels, writing, sports, music, art, etc, etc.  You never know when you might have the next Mia Hamm, Hemingway, or John Williams on your hands, and you will never know unless you encourage them to explore the other things that they enjoy or just get them to try new things.

All in all I want my children to be well rounded and I hope this is something that they can learn from me. What things do you wish your children will pick up from you?