As a FIRM member of Camp 1 I have a difficult time understanding those moms that like to be in Camp 2. Since becoming a mom I've had a hard time establishing who 'Jody' is and making sure that other's also view me as more than just a mom, being a stay at home mom makes this even more difficult. Why is it that some moms feel it necessary to distinguish themselves as more than just a mom and some believe the title 'mom' is simply enough?
Is being a mom rewarding in itself? Yes, at times it really is. When I see my kids do or say something I know I helped teach them - it can be a proud moment. Or those times they catch you off guard and say something very sweet, it's a moment to treasure. But there's the rest of the day where you are a chauffeur, a cook, a house cleaner, a human kleenex (if one more kid uses my shirt to wipe their nose I think I'll scream), a craft queen, a teacher, a disciplinarian, etc, etc. All the things you are that you pretty much never get credit for and that goes unappreciated. For me, those are the things that can be very mundane and draining, I will fully admit that I get bored after 2 minutes of playing with playdough!
So, as a member of Camp 1 I find it essential to my well being to get in my 'Me Time'. I volunteer, I read, I get together with girlfriends, join clubs, and work out. It's not about trying to remember who I was before kids, it's about defining myself WITH kids.
Now the question is, is that selfish? I'm sure some moms would jump right up and say that yes it is selfish to worry about myself when I should be taking that time to work with my kids on potty training, or spelling, or how to use scissors. I could be making homemade birthday cakes, making Halloween costumes from scratch and making sure I document all the things that my children so I never forget and can show them in the future. This is where I will fully admit to ANY man, woman or child - I am NOT a perfect mom, nor will I ever strive to be one. I am however a good mom that makes mistakes. I choose to buy that birthday cake because it saves me hours of labour in which I usually spend some of that time with the kids and some of it on myself. I choose not to hand make a Halloween costume because again, it would take me DAYS to even figure out how to sew. Days I could spend with my kids at the park and nights I could spend doing volunteer work, or reading a book - things I enjoy.
The reason I do these things for myself is I feel it makes ME a better person. It allows me time to breathe, to express myself through my own interests and recharge my batteries that get drained throughout the day when I do all my mom jobs. If some call me selfish for that, I understand but I will not apologize nor will I change. It's simply what I need to do to get through the day and be the decent mom I am. Without those things, I'm pretty sure I'd have to go back to work full-time and let someone else watch my kids as I would be useless to them!
|Me & my mom at a breast cancer fundraiser.|