What I've Learned From Blogging

Have you ever sat back and wondered what lessons you've learned from blogging? I've learned a few things I though I'd share:

1. You're Never Going To Please Everyone - most people will enjoy and appreciate your writing style or the things you have to say, or possibly just be indifferent to it. But there will always be someone who doesn't agree or like what you have to say. You have to learn that if you're going to put yourself out there publicly you need to take the good with the bad.

2. Perception - you may think you're coming across one way when in fact you are coming off totally different than how you intended. This somewhat goes hand in hand with #1. I find it's good to write a post and then just sit on it for a day or two...or sometimes more. It gives you a chance to reread and maybe try to see how you may be coming across.

3. Everyone Writes For Different Reasons - some people try to make a business out of it, some people just write for the sake of writing. Whatever your reasons you have to remember what is important to you and stay true to yourself. In the end it's still you you're representing.

4. It's Probably Been Written Before - since blogs have allowed everyone to post their thoughts publically you need to realize that whatever you're writing has probably been written before. Not the exact thing you've written but a version of it. So I've learned not to get offended if someone says 'I just wrote something like that' because chances are someone wrote something similar before them as well. Think of it like recipes, no one really starts from scratch, they start with a base and make it their own.

5. Try To Remember It's Supposed To Be Fun - if there comes a time when you don't feel like writing, then don't. I think if you ever feel like it's becoming a chore then step away and start writing again when you feel like you miss it.

What things have you learned from blogging?

March Book Reviews

Because I went on a kid-less holiday I was able to read a few more books that usual this month, yay! Some I liked, some...not so much. Here's my reviews:

1. Barney's Version - Mordecai Richler.  This is one of our book club selections that's also on the 501 Must Read list. It took me a few pages to get into the story but once I was into it, I was really into it. You follow the life of Barney and it jumps back and forth through his life. He leads a terribly interesting life mixed with murder charges, 3 wives, risky career choices, and some amusing friends. I found the book to be entertaining throughout and you really learn to like the curmudgeon of a lead character. Enjoyable!

2. When We Were Friends - Elizabeth Joy Arnold.  I picked this read up because it was on sale. Sometimes you win these and sometimes you don't, I'd say this was a 'don't'.  The story is about a woman who reconnects with a friend, turned enemy, from highschool. Shortly after reconnecting the friend asks her to protect her child for her but then tells the police her child was abducted. The whole situation is incredibly fake and sadly it just goes from fake situation to even more incredibly fake situations. The worst is the fake, too easy ending. Skip it.

3. The Cat's Table - Michael Ondaatje. This is the story of a boy being sent on a large ship to England for his studies. It's his tales of being stuck at the 'Cat's Table' which is considered the furthest away from the Captain's Table, therefore the lowest of the low. There are 2 other boys around his same age so the book follows their adventures on the ship. The book is decent but there's nothing terribly memorable about it. The ending feels unresolved, which are usually the books that drive me nuts.

4. Before I Go To Sleep - SJ Watson. I read this book over the span of 2 days because it was well written and timed to keep you interested. It is about a woman who suffers a condition where whenever she falls asleep and then wakes up she doesn't remember anything from her life for the past 15 or so years, A doctor tells her to start writing down what she experiences each day so the book is you reading how each morning she realizes she's married, older than she thinks she is, etc. but she adds some details each day to what she finds out. The book is a mystery so you know there's a twist in there somewhere and I'll admit that I didn't quite figure it out until closer to the end.

5. The Descendants - Kaui Hart Hemmings. Most people have already probably seen the movie so I won't really give a big description of the story. Instead I'll just say that I actually found that this was probably much closer to a real family than to many other books or movies I've seen. The kids are real kids, a little messed up and confused. The dad is a real dad, a little disengaged from the family and the mom is someone who doesn't seem comfortable in her role as a mom. The way the dad struggles to deal with his wife in the hospital and the responsibility of 2 kids seems to be just how I'd imagine most men would react, a little shock and awe moment. Worth a read in my opinion.

6. Fifty Shades of Grey - EL James. Here's what I wrote in my book summary "HATED IT". Yep, that's all I wrote.  This book started as fan fiction. If you're not familiar with fan fiction it's basically when a fan of another author/novel (in this case Twilight) takes the characters and rewrites them in a slightly different way. I believe this is the the first time a piece of fan fiction has been published rather that just made available on the internet. It should have stayed as simply fan fiction. There's SO MUCH wrong with this book it would take me a whole page to rant and rave about how much I hated it. It's fake. Fake. Fake. Fake. On top of that the dialoge seems to be written by a 15 year old girl and the sex scenes by a 50 year old man. This book makes Twilight look like a Pulitzer prize winner. Arg. I have to stop there. It already is making me mad just writing this. When there's SO MANY wonderful books out there I want to burn things like this and hand people the 501 Must Read Book list and say 'pick one, they're 100 times better!!'

Feed The Masses, Feed The Soul

Last week Because Edmonton Cares had the privilege of volunteering at the Edmonton Food Bank. In the past we have helped the Food Bank by collecting food and tickets at Heritage Days but this was our first experience in the Food Bank itself.

Our team got to spread out and do various jobs. Some of our volunteers sorted incoming donations, some shucked corn, and I got to pack outgoing food boxes. As one of our volunteers said 'it's like grocery shopping, but for hours on end!'

After our volunteering a representative of the Food Bank took us on a tour of the warehouse and it was enlightening to learn more about what they do and who they serve. Did you know that the Edmonton Food Bank has over 190 spots you can pick up food from? And that through those agencies they serve more that 15,000 people a month. To me the most sobering stat is the fact that approximately 40% of those they serve are children under the age of 18.

The Food Bank is supported through the United Way but they receive no government funding. Generally they need to purchase between $500,000 - $600,000 worth of food each year to supplement the food donations they receive in order to provide nutritious meals to Edmontonians.

There are so many ways you can help out your local food bank. You can volunteer at various fundraising/food-raising events, you can volunteer in the food bank itself taking orders or packing boxes, you can ask people to bring food donations to parties you host, you can donate to any of the agencies that help support them or you can just help spread the word of what is needed most.  Here is a link to the list of items that is needed most in the Edmonton Food Bank:  http://edmontonsfoodbank.com/about/most-needed-items/

The best part of helping out at the Food Bank? While feeding the masses you're also feeding your soul by doing something amazing for your community. Do it!

February Book Reviews

February was a bit of a slower reading month for me as it was my son's birthday, Valentine's and we took the family on a trip (always less reading time for me as I'm with the kids nonstop). Even so I was able to fit the following 5 books in:

1. Reading Lolita in Tehran - Azar Nefesi

Scattered is the best way to describe this book.The author was trying to talk about her experiences as a university teacher and the challenges she faced as she tried to teach her students about all the literary greats. The issue was that the new government wouldn't let her talk about anything considered too Western. She eventually stops teaching but starts up a sort of book club/classes for her former students. The book jumps in the timeline so much that it's difficult to understand what happens when. I think the book has promise but the editor should have helped the author put things into a cleaner timeline.

2. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - John le Carre

Wee! I really enjoyed the movie and so I think that helped me keep the characters/ events straight when reading the book. It follows the British Secret Service (Circus) and the story of potential internal betrayal within their ranks. Smiley, an ex-agent, is asked to secretly try to find out if there's a mole in Circus and the story follows him unravelling a few major incidents and searching for the spy. I really don't want to say too much about it as it's a mystery and no one likes a spoiler! But I would suggest maybe starting yourself a little cheat sheet with the names to keep them straight.

3.  The Lock Artist - Steve Hamilton

Double WEE! Two good books in a row makes me happy. The book is one of those ones that flips throughout a timeline but I found this one pretty easy to follow. It is about a young boy who goes through something traumatic and it causes him to not speak to anyone. He gets mixed in with the wrong crowd growing up and it leads to worse and worse situations for him. This is one of those books that gets you right off the bat and holds your attention right until the end. It's good enough I immediately looked into the author's other books. It's a great read!

4. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk - David Sedaris

I saw this little book sitting in Chapters and it looked so odd I just couldn't put it down. It's a bunch of little 1-3 page modern fables that kink of shock you at times and make you say 'ahh, good point' at others. There's not much to say about other than it's an odd little book!

5. I seriously can't remember what I read because I forgot to write it down. I know there's another one between Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk and my 1st March book so I'll try to fill this in when I remember...if I ever remember.

What was your favourite read for the month?

Mommy's Kisses Are Forever

The other day when I kissed my 4yr old he wiped his cheek and said 'Ha, I wiped it off!'  It didn't even take me a moment to respond with 'Nope, you can never wipe off Mommy kisses because Mommy kisses are forever.'



The idea is from a book called The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. It was recommended to us when the kids started preschool as a way to ease any potential separation anxiety. It's about a little raccoon that is going off to school for the first time but is nervous. The mother raccoon kisses his hand so that if he gets lonely he can put his hand to his face and the kiss will still be there to remind him that he's safe and his mom loves him. Such a sweet little story that I really took to heart. It even comes with little heart stickers so the child can wear it to school as a reminder.

Who doesn't love the idea of their mom looking out for them always and forever? Those soft little kisses or slobbery raspberry kisses are all filled with love, laughter, comfort, security, and understanding. Best of all, they last a lifetime! So sorry my little Ham, no matter how hard you wipe those kisses are not coming off.

Travel Trips Part Deux

Over a year ago I wrote about about Traveling with Toddlers and since we just made another major trip with them I thought I'd add a few things that worked/didn't work for us.

Me & My Turkey on the boat

What Worked

1. We had lower expectations of everything we were going to do on the trip. We didn't book any major excursions, this year we decided to just do simple sight seeing very close to the hotel. It worked better as there wasn't any extended traveling to and from the destination and it kept the attention spans for younger kids. 

2. We picked a resort with a Kids Club, it was a blessing! It was located beside the pool so when you needed the kids to get out of the sun for a while or just slow down for a bit we would take them in there to do all sorts of crafts and games. The women that worked there were super sweet and actually seemed to love their jobs. The kids loved having that outlet to do more activities than just swim. Win!

3. Hubs and I took turns having a morning to ourselves. Having 7 nights and days without a break from the kids can be a bit overwhelming so we gave each other a break for a morning to do something for ourselves. It was a little bit of time to refresh and rejuvenate.

What Didn't Work

1. I think we should have talked to the kids about ear pressure on the plane. They've never had issues before as I always get them to drink water on assent and descent but this time was different. A few kind passengers offered them gum but they've never had it before so I knew they would just swallow it. I think if I'd practiced letting them chew it before we left it may of helped. I also forgot that my SIL said places plastic cups over their ears help, wish I'd remember that one!

2. Even with multiple applications of sunscreen both our kids had their first sunburns. It wasn't much but it was right under their eyes and it made me realize that they were rubbing off their sunscreen every time the chlorine bothered their eyes and they would rub them. We went back to the store and bought the strongest sunscreen we could find and used that on their face and it was better after that. Still, I felt back they had their first burn :(

3. Rules. We didn't have any way to enforce any rules while on vacation. At home we have several ways we deal with unruly behaviour but it was a lot harder to figure out on the fly. Hubs and I should have spoke about this before we left to make sure we were on the same page and consistent in our methods.

Mr. C "Driving" the boat

All in all it was a better trip than last time. With the kids being a little older we didn't have to worry about naps or fret as much while they were in the pool. Here's hoping it gets better and better each time!

To My Dearest Mother

To My Dearest Mother,

I am so sorry.

It has taken me over 30 years and two children of my own to be able to fully understand your importance in my life and I am so very sorry it has taken me this long to acknowledge you.

I am sorry for the times that I got mad at you because you put down your foot and told me 'No'. You were right, I was wrong. You knew what my boundaries should be. You knew what was appropriate for my age and you made me act accordingly. You took the hard job and was the 'bad cop' but I respect you all the more for it now. You grounded me and gave me lectures for the mistakes I made. You helped me to realize there were consequences to my actions. It's not an easy lesson to teach, so I appreciate that you took the time and loved me enough to teach me the lessons I needed later in life.

I am sorry that we never realized all the small and the big stuff you did for us on a daily basis. You fed us three times a day. You made sure we always had clean clothes to wear. You gave us hugs and kisses when things didn't go our way or we were hurt. You drove us to our lessons and sat on the sidelines and cheered us on. You taught us how to use the toilet, how to feed ourselves, and how to walk and talk. You were literally there every step of the way.

I am sorry for all the times I rolled my eyes and was short with you when I answered the phone. You are a person and never stopped caring for me or worrying about me even as an adult. You deserve to be treated with respect and love. I am sorry I was impatient with you and didn't value your efforts to keep our relationship strong

I am sorry for the times we fought and I said horrible things to you. I will say that I was young and didn't truly understand how much words can hurt or how long they can linger. You were the strong one and you made us work through it. But you also let me know how much my words hurt you and taught me yet more valuable lessons in kindness and forgiveness.

I am sorry for the times I thought of you as 'just a mom'. You were (and are) so much more than that. You stayed home with us when we were young, you worked when we were in school, you made time for your own friends and went on dates with Dad. You are everything I wish to teach my daughter: a loving wife, a compassionate mother, a valuable employee, a great friend and a confident woman.

Most of all I am sorry for it taking me so long to show you the respect you deserve. As I go through raising my own children I know how lonely it can be at times. So often you wish someone would acknowledge your work and efforts in raising your children. So I am sorry for it taking over 36 years for me to tell you all this but you mean the world to me and I thank you.

Your Loving Daughter,
J