Sunday, January 29, 2012

Me, My Faults, and I

No one REALLY wants to publicize their faults but in this case I think it's going to help me. There was a few things that bothered me this week and it led me to wonder if it was the other person (people) at fault, or if it was my own faults that led to my uneasiness. Trying to be as objective as possible I came to the conclusion that it was a combination of the two but it made me want to write about my faults and show that a. I know what the majority of my faults are and b. say that I do try to work on most of them.

It's not pleasant to give oneself a hard look but I do think it's necessary every now and then to make sure I'm trying to learn and grow. Some faults really embarrass me and I hope that by being aware of them I can change them. Others don't necessarily embarrass me but sometimes make me feel that they complicate my life in unnecessary ways.

So *sigh* let's get started. I'm not going to share them all as some are deeply personal and a little too hard to share with the world:

1. Impatience. It's a weird sort of fault for me as at times I impress myself with how patient I can be with a situation or person. Then other times I simply snap and lose patience in an instant. Part of me would like to be generous with myself and say that my bouts of impatience follow bouts of great patience but I can't say for sure this is the situation. All I know is that I would do just about anything to be able to achieve higher level patience in all aspects of my life.

2. Interruption. I interrupt people when they're speaking. I do it, I know I'm doing it, I hate that I'm doing it and yet it always seems to happen. When I go out with someone I think to myself' "Don't interrupt!" and yet at some point throughout the evening I find myself doing it. I'm going to keep trying on this one and hopefully some day I'll learn to wait my turn.
The King of Interruption

3. Hurt Feelings. I'm a logical person and can completely understand that people are allowed to invite whomever they want to events. However this seems to get jumbled in my head and I get hurt feelings when I don't receive an invite to something. To be fair to myself, I generally only really get hurt feelings when I have extended invites to the person and then in turn do not return the favour.

4. Judging. I do it. Not all the time, not on things you may expect me to, but I do judge people on certain things.  I will admit to judging how other people react to situations, certain parenting choices, clothing choices, political choices, etc. Lately I've seen many comments on how people shouldn't judge others, or how they should just support. I believe in those comments but I'm being totally honest and saying that though I believe in them, it's not something that one can just flip a switch on. The way I work on this fault is that I sit on my initial reaction. Sometimes I sit on it for a few moments before I can say 'to each their own' and I can admit that I am still sitting on some reactions that I just can not seem to get over. Sometimes it takes a bit of reminding that people are allowed to make their own decisions.

I think that's all I'll post for now. Someone advised me not to post my faults, or at least the judging one, and my response was 'But we ALL do it! I'm just being honest about it and I hope it will lead others to be more honest about it too'.  Am I crazy or do others feel that posting their faults will help lead to finding ways to improve on them?

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Letting Go of Control

I did it. I finally let go of control and took the child lock off the craft cupboards. I've given the kids access to glue, glitter and even scissors. It was a difficult choice to make because last summer they used the markers to "decorate" the couch and in the fall used pencil to graffiti my walls.

Even though I was quite worried I have to say it's been great so far. There have been far less 'Mommy, there's nothing to do!' comments and when they do pop up I remind them the cupboard is open and off they go. In conjunction with the freeing of the crafts I also purchased them some super cheap workbooks from Safeway and now every day I find them cutting, pasting, colouring and doing mazes.

Probably the only con I've seen so far is that I need to constantly remind them that if they're done with one craft they need to clean up before the move on to the next. Other than that they're enjoying their craft freedom and I'm enjoying those few more moments a day where they're not fighting. Now let's just hope they've gotten past their graffiti days and my walls and furniture are safe!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

My Quirky Self

Today when I was out with my daughter we stopped for lunch and I was super excited about having a bowl of my favourite wonton soup. Right off the bat I noticed that my wontons had a different look to them. About 1/4 of the way through I realized what the new ingredient was...mushrooms. I stopped in my tracks, I couldn't go forward. Anyone that knows me know that I have a SEVERE aversion mushrooms. Today I would even go as far as saying I have a bit of a phobia of them. It got me thinking about all my quirks and thought I'd try to name a few, just for your sheer amusement of my oddities.

1. As Mentioned, Mushrooms: the smell, the taste, the feel and worst of all...the look of them.They absolutely freak me out. Especially when they're whole as the fins just look so creepy. I'm going to have nightmares just thinking about them.

2. Buttered Popcorn: there's something unappealing to me about reaching into the bag of popcorn and drawing out cold, soggy popcorn and coating my hand with grease. Hubs loves it that way so we need to order our own bags.

3. Politeness: I'm obsessed with it and feel affronted if people do not wave when I let them in to my lane of traffic, or hold a door open for them, etc. I feel that it's such a simple thing that people can very easily do and yet it doesn't seem to cross the minds of so many!

4. Text Talk: pet peeve, pet peeve, pet peeve. In no way am I an expert in grammar but I'm pretty sure talking lk u r 13 is 4 13 yr olds.

5. Tappity-tap-tap: When listening to music I must tap my fingernails along to the music. It may not sound like much but it drives Hubs insane, he's been listening to it for over 11 years.

6. Girly TV: it embarrasses me to say I watch Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. I normally prefer to watch things like Dexter, Walking Dead, Community, or Game of Thrones but part of me still is girly. Damn, I can't believe I admitted that. I'm not even sure why it actually embarrasses me but it really does.

7. Folding: if I'm going to do laundry, I'm going to fold everything in the basket and that includes underwear and house rags.

I think I'll stop there before I give you anything other glimpses into my little oddities, I think I've already given you all enough ammunition!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I'm Tongue Tied

Have your children ever asked you something that you do not know how to respond to? It's those moments where they throw you for a loop and ask something you weren't prepared to talk about at that very moment. Usually it seems to be about something like death or sex, or worse...they catch you in a lie you told them about Santa/Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny/etc.

So far with my 5yr old and (almost) 4 yr old I've had a few of these situations arise. When my daughter was 3 she asked me exactly how Daddy got the baby in my tummy. I was at a loss. Three seemed too young to introduce the details of procreation so I used the fine are of distraction and the topic was dropped.

At Christmas I took my son shopping for toys for Santas Anonymous and I explained to him how some children don't get toys at Christmas because their parents don't have enough money to buy them. He caught me in the 'Santa' lie when he said 'well they DO get gifts Mommy, they get them from Santa like we do'. I was stuck. I wasn't sure what to say. I busied myself with putting him in the car and when I got in I said that Santa only brings 1 gift to each child and usually the moms and dads buy the rest. So we were buying the rest of their gifts that Santa doesn't bring. It felt like a lame answer with so many holes in it but he seemed satisfied at the time.

Moments like that terrify me. I want to be prepared and have all the answers but sometimes they catch me so off guard or they phrase it in such a way that I just have no idea what to say.

How do you deal with questions you're not prepared to answer? Do you give them just a little bit of info or give them the whole story? Do you prepare yourself years in advance for the tough questions?

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Keepin' The Love Alive

Hubs and I lucked out and in the past few weeks we were able to go on a few dates. For one date we went to a pub, listened to a singer and then headed to a hockey game; it was so refreshing. For the other date we went to a local restaurant called D'Lish and then to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie.

Hockey and a movie may not sound like the most romantic outings and yet for us it helps us share activities that we both enjoy. It puts us in a good mood because we're both doing something we like AND we're doing it together.

Even for those times that we can't get out on a date we try to watch a movie together at home or play a game. I find it really helps for us to have the same hobbies and enjoy the same styles of movies as neither one of us feels like we're being forced to do something for the sake of the other.

What I've always wondered though is how 'opposites attract' couples manage when it comes to dates. I see many women complain online about being forced to watch a sporting event or a man complain about watching The Bachelor. So how do they do things together without feeling some resentment for being forced to do something they're not interested in?

I find it helps us keep our love alive by doing things we mutually enjoy. Do you and your husband share similar interests or do you sometimes feel like you need to compromise on activities for date time? If so, do you take turns deciding what to do? What do you do to keep the love alive in your relationship?